<sarcasm hat ON>
Oh sigh, all the hacks come out to play (rolls eyes at Bourbon)
You need to learn to cut the text in half, instead of just running layers upon layers
Illustrator file here
And a preview in jpg
Illustrator file here
And a preview in jpg
And yes Duncan, its one of the many things i do when i'm not looking after databases, accounting systems and web integrations
<sarcasm hat OFF>
Its been a sh1t week, sorry for being blunt