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Old 11-05-2010, 07:29 AM   #1715
NaughtyGT
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Baxter, VIC
Car: Sooby B4 - Astina SP parting out
Posts: 2,447
The Italian Secret to a Long Marriage:

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding
anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married
to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands,
'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her,
but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'
The priest responded,
'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!
Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'
Giuseppe proudly replied,
" I gonna go pick her up."


---------------------------------------------

Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
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