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21-12-2012, 08:01 PM | #2621 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sunshine Coast
Car: MPS
Posts: 1,939
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21-12-2012, 08:59 PM | #2622 | |
AstinaGT Regular
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Adelaide
Car: SE20 Protege; 6A13tt FTO
Posts: 357
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Quote:
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22-12-2012, 02:10 PM | #2624 | |
Veni, vidi, vici
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Brisbane
Car: 1996 BA Hatch & 2005 RX8
Posts: 4,911
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Quote:
Awesome!! |
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22-12-2012, 04:20 PM | #2625 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: shellharbour
Car: 02, bj2 j48
Posts: 520
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Quote:
this made my day!!
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21-01-2013, 03:38 PM | #2627 |
obsessed-incomplete-broke
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Brisbane
Car: BA Hardtop/Hatch
Posts: 5,441
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BEFORE MARRIAGE.....
HE: Yes. At last! It was so hard to wait. SHE: Do you want me to leave? HE: No! Don't even think about it! SHE: Do you love me? HE: Of course! Over and over. SHE: Have you ever cheated on me? HE: No! Why are you even asking? SHE: Will you kiss me? HE:Every chance I get. SHE: Will you hit me? HE: Are you crazy? I am not that kind of person. SHE: Can I trust you? HE: Yes SHE: Darling! ...............AFTER MARRIAGE SIMPLY READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP saw this on facebook...
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21-01-2013, 07:47 PM | #2628 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: wollongong
Car: 99, BJ 323 astina hatch
Posts: 1,506
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hahah rolf thats a funny one
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Cars .. 1: 241kw Turbo 1999 BJ 323 Astina . 2: 1983 ke70 Corolla. 3: 2011 PK Ranger Wildtrak (tow car ) |
25-01-2013, 06:59 PM | #2629 |
AstinaGT Regular
Join Date: May 2011
Location: newcastle
Car: Mazda 323 Protege Sports Edition
Posts: 400
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Found this thread on MCM forums, thought it was pretty funny :-)
http://forums.mightycarmods.com/showthread.php?t=11185 3 Word Story
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25-01-2013, 07:33 PM | #2630 | |
Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ipswich, Queensland
Car: 2002 Mazda Astina SP20 2006 Mazda 6 GY Wagon
Posts: 9,769
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Quote:
http://www.astinagt.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11874
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25-01-2013, 08:04 PM | #2631 |
AstinaGT Regular
Join Date: May 2011
Location: newcastle
Car: Mazda 323 Protege Sports Edition
Posts: 400
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Lol. My bad.
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27-01-2013, 06:02 PM | #2632 |
Banned
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Brisneyland, Queensland
Car: 2002 Mazda Frankenstina
Posts: 2,868
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The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the passenger seat) in an automobile.
These rules are definitive and binding. Section I The Basic Rules 1. In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word "Shotgun" in a clear voice. This call must be heard and acknowledged by the driver. The other occupants of the vehicle need not hear the call as long as the driver verifies the call. 2. Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are outside and on the way to said vehicle. 3. Early calls are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may only be called while walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive immediately forthcoming. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey. 4. The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons. Section II Special Cases These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in the order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the cases beneath it, when applicable. 1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun. 2. If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is not driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline. 3. In the instance the the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or date for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline. 4. In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate use of the window. 5. In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they decline. 6. In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three hour trip with him crammed in the back. Section III The Survival of the Fittest Rule 1. If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival of the Fittest Rule on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all rules, excepting I-4, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied by whoever can take it by force. 2. The driver must announce the institution of the Survival of the Fittest Rule with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces the amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle. Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability. If there are any arguments or exceptions not covered in these rules, please refer to rule I-4. |
27-01-2013, 06:43 PM | #2633 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sunshine Coast
Car: MPS
Posts: 1,939
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Quote:
This happens to me regularly....legs too long to fit in the back easy! Another one should be whoever has the iPod gets to ride shotgun, then the whole pressure of being the DJ kicks in though |
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28-01-2013, 02:36 AM | #2634 |
Veni, vidi, vici
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Brisbane
Car: 1996 BA Hatch & 2005 RX8
Posts: 4,911
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Aaah the shotgun
Takes me back to when I was the 1st one of my mates to own a car at 17, hence being a designated driver for good 6-9 months lol My solution was simple My car had a very long iPod/line cable (so anyone could control it) Shotgun must be given in presence of all people traveling in the vehicle and in clear sight of the vehicle, so as to give everyone a fair go And in case of a tie, I called reload at my disclosure Now we are all 25, and we still call shotgun when we carpool on a boys night. Since I used to be the designated driver, now at these occasions I'm not 99% of the time (fact I have a 4 seater helps lol) |
30-01-2013, 04:20 PM | #2635 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: USA
Car: .
Posts: 2,623
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A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rdgrade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants." The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum." Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling. Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck." The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last six questions wrong... "
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30-01-2013, 07:41 PM | #2636 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: wollongong
Car: 99, BJ 323 astina hatch
Posts: 1,506
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^^^ hahah lol love the last line exactly what i got lol, that was a good read
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Cars .. 1: 241kw Turbo 1999 BJ 323 Astina . 2: 1983 ke70 Corolla. 3: 2011 PK Ranger Wildtrak (tow car ) |
01-02-2013, 12:22 AM | #2637 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: USA
Car: .
Posts: 2,623
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ****!" The Teacher fainted.
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Protege FAQ, the best 323/Protege/Mazda3 resource enjoyed worldwide for 10 years |
01-02-2013, 03:20 PM | #2638 |
Senior Member
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love it
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http://www.astinagt.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18798 WORKLOG |
05-02-2013, 12:45 AM | #2639 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: USA
Car: .
Posts: 2,623
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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bed room closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is" Boy " I have a baseball." Man "That's nice" Boy "Want to buy it?" Man "No, thanks" Boy "My dad/s outside..." Man "O.K. - How much?" Boy "$250" In a few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy "Dark in here" Man “ Yes, it is." Boy "I have a baseball glove" The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy "$750" Man "Sold!" A few days later the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch. The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" Boy " $ 1,000" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here". The priest says, "Don't start that **** again, you're in my closet now."
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Protege FAQ, the best 323/Protege/Mazda3 resource enjoyed worldwide for 10 years |
11-02-2013, 08:46 PM | #2640 |
Banned
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Brisneyland, Queensland
Car: 2002 Mazda Frankenstina
Posts: 2,868
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Thinking Outside The Box
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think, before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. She simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams." Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box." However, the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner against the bus stop, then drive off with the old friend for some beers. I just love happy endings |
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