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Old 05-05-2010, 02:03 PM   #1701
mussing
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Novel, yet hideous.
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Old 05-05-2010, 02:24 PM   #1702
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It's like a mouldy pumpkin!
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Old 05-05-2010, 05:50 PM   #1703
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wat will yanks do next???
notice the Bently 'B'
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Old 05-05-2010, 08:21 PM   #1704
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rupewrecht View Post
It's like a mouldy pumpkin!
thats what i was like.. paint it orange and park it out the front 4 hallowene :P
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Old 05-05-2010, 08:30 PM   #1705
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Ok so when i get junk mail i sorta just watch the number next to the junk folder increase and then let it delete itself after 10 days. But today i decided to sift through and see what the lovely people of the internet are trying to get from me/sell me... viagra, cialis, laptops, $100000 from a foreign national, you know... the usual.

But strikingly this time... i got a rather different one lol...
and it was so unique that i felt... i had to reply.
Now due to the new rules of the forum i've censored some words but i'm sure you'll fill in the blanks






> Date: Fri, 30 Apr 2010 22:59:20 -0400
> Subject: You Have 72 Hour To Respond To This Mail Or Forget It
> From: info@rip.com
>
> Good Day
>
> I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like
> this if you don't comply, i was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it
> within10 days.Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means,
> and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to
> us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names,
> photograph and other necessary information we needed about you. If you
> are in doubt with this I will send you to death.
>
> Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried
> out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered
> them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just
> felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you
> first and know why somebody will want you dead by all means. Right now my
> men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you
> think is safer for you to hide might not be. Now do you want to LIVE OR
> DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal
> with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life,
> $6,000 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay $3,000 usd
> then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and
> when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $3,000 usd If you
> are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the
> assignment after all I have already being paid before now.
>
> Warning:
> Do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will
> extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want
> you dead, and the person knows all members of your family as well. For your
> own good I will advise you not to go out once is 7pm until I make out time to
> see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you
> dead then you can use it to take any legal action.
>
> Note: You Have 72 Hour To Respond To This Mail Or Forget It.
>
> Good luck as I await your response.
>
> Cross. Killer
>




Reply from me:
Hello,

i do hope you enjoyed the videos your men have taken of me.
As you have probly been well informed by the person who wants me dead, i am in the p***ography business.
In the last few days i have been involved in a few group s** videos and was hoping that to sell them on the internet for profit.
However you probly now have copies of them from different angles, hope you enjoyed them. Did you like the asian from 2 days ago?

Anyway, i'm a working man, as are you by the sounds of it, and we both know what its like to have to meet deadlines.
But i'm telling you, this is a deadline you can relax on mate. Be a patient man, just kick back and relax and if you wait long enough
more free p*** will probly get reported back to you by your men.

So anyway, at the current exchange rate, $6000US is going to equate to around 7 or 8 suck my d***?
If this figure sounds correct please email me back and i'll organise for you to pay me.

Please respond ASAP! The exchange rate fluctuates more than your mother's weight.
Sincerely, Dead_Man_Walking (apparently)

OH! P.s!
I just looked at the clock, sorry, forgot you didn't want me outside after 7pm.
I was taking a leisurely stroll about the neighbourhood and emailing you from my laptop.
My apologies, won't happen again.
But to clarify, would you mind if i went out again at around 9:30pm? It's when i like to walk my dog.
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Old 05-05-2010, 08:51 PM   #1706
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LOL. I love the reply. Good luck for the next 72 hrs.
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Old 05-05-2010, 09:43 PM   #1707
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LOL
well rip.com belongs to this person
http://www.webtrafficagents.com/Whoi...x?s=google.com (u have to type in www.rip.com)
if i got that email id call the person directly and scare the **** out of them
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Old 06-05-2010, 08:04 AM   #1708
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if you call them have your voice muffled
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Old 09-05-2010, 11:35 PM   #1709
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Hack their comp
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Old 10-05-2010, 01:29 AM   #1710
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i dont know if this has been covered before but here is a Good Wife Guide
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Old 10-05-2010, 04:01 PM   #1711
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interesting the contrast of the school of thought of the 50's compared to now
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Old 10-05-2010, 08:39 PM   #1712
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Just a few tummy ticklers:

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
(because those men already have boyfriends).


Man: Darling, you won't believe it but I've won the lottery. What do you want to do?
Wife: You want a frank answer? If you are willing to split the money with me 50:50, I would like to get a divorce. In fact, I'd be happy to move out tomorrow.
Man: I'm glad you said that. Here's your five bucks, now get lost.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change but she does


Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.


A young ventriloquist with his dummy on his knee, starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist starts to apologize,"I, I, I really am sorry, I never thought . . . "
The blonde screams at him, "You shut your face, I'm speaking to that little scumbag, sitting on your knee."


A female brain cell is accidentally injected into a male brain in the course of an otherwise routine operation. Having been anaesthetized she's understandably a little disoriented to find herself waking up in what seems to be an empty and echoey space. Her first thought is to try to attract someone's attention, so she calls out: "Hello?" lo lo lo. "Is there anybody there?" air air air. On receiving no reply she becomes a little vexed and calls out very loudly "Where is everybody?" ody ody ody. A moment passes and then from far away in the distance she hears a faint reply: "We're all down here"
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Old 10-05-2010, 08:48 PM   #1713
70NYD
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hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahahha
awesome stufff
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Old 10-05-2010, 10:31 PM   #1714
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A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the freeway. Nothing is moving.

Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks "What's going on?" The man said "Terrorists have kidnapped Kevin Rudd, Wayne Swan and Julia Gillard. They're asking for a $300 million ransom, otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire.

We're going from car to car, taking up a collection." The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average? "About a litre I think......"
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Old 11-05-2010, 08:29 AM   #1715
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The Italian Secret to a Long Marriage:

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding
anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married
to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands,
'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her,
but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'
The priest responded,
'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!
Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'
Giuseppe proudly replied,
" I gonna go pick her up."


---------------------------------------------

Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
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Old 11-05-2010, 07:12 PM   #1716
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaughtyGT View Post
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
haha gold!
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:20 PM   #1717
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This is so Have sound on

http://au.f464.mail.yahoo.com/ya/dow...e_strong_k.wmv
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Last edited by NaughtyGT; 12-05-2010 at 05:25 PM.
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:22 PM   #1718
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dont have yahoo- so i guess i cant "yahoo"

is that funny enough to be here? :P
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:50 PM   #1719
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tc3_racer_001 View Post
dont have yahoo- so i guess i cant "yahoo"

is that funny enough to be here? :P
I'll Utube it for you. Gimme a minute
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Old 12-05-2010, 07:00 PM   #1720
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQNcgTqaeDk
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